merricats:

oldmanhoho:

you know you’ve made a good pun when everyone’s immediate response upon hearing it is “shut the fuck up”

#the highest compliment any pun can receive

that sexual tension between two bloggers who always like/reblog each others’ posts

i hate people, but i hate saying i hate people because that makes me sound mean i’m nice i like people it’s just that i hate people

necrophilic:

when ur being dramatic for humorous effect and someone’s like ‘wow calm down’

psychoticmist:

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’

mereperf:

man if i had an identical twin we would fuck shit up so bad let me tell you

i have two moods: fuck you and fuck me